February 2012
133 posts
The life and times of callouslycasual
I have overbooked.
Work!
Truck washing!
Return (Target variety)!
Saw wood for armoire doors!
Likely trip to Lowe’s after miscalculation!
Run 10k!
Laundry!
More fiddling with armoire legs and hinges!
Attempt a proper supper!
Books and Justified!
A box of Cheerios has shotgun today.
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Getting groceries in a military town
(I had just scored Tapatio on special)
Old Fogey: Darlin', I must request the rationale behind your wearing shorts in this chill.
Me: Wellsir (yes, that's one word)...I just came over from the gym and I'll be headed home to flannnel and fleece shortly.
Old Fogey: Yes, yes, a runner. Harumph. You will report to your bunk at once and rectify this wardrobe situation immediately.
Me: As much as I would like to oblige, I just scored the last fresh asparagus in town and I intend to buy it, so let's just us consider this a form of covert ops.
Old Fogey: *salutes* Miss, the enemy never saw you coming.
jump-downonjumpstreet:
Workin’ For the Weekend -...
My plan is to answer with the chorus of Skee-Lo's...
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And yet another perfect five minutes
The wind is wild and the sun is shining, and the air outside is a balmy 70 degrees. Storm clouds are racing to the north, but it’s not here yet, and I’ve kicked off my heels and grabbed my shorts. Lugging the armoire outside was a small price to pay for a moment in the sun. A bottle of beer and a bottle of wood glue make an eccentric outdoor bar.
Plus that skunk from this morning has...
perfect five minutes
Driving with the windows down on a sunny, 63 degree day, chocolate shake in hand (not the healthy kind), and Better than Ezra’s “Good” on the radio.
Also I have bacon.
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To no one but myself
It’s February 22nd again, the four-year anniversary of the most sucktastic day in my existence.
The death of my grandmother should have been more sucktastic, but she was really mean. In regard to the death of my great-grandmother, I didn’t know until that night, so the day itself was pretty good.
Therefore, February 22nd has reigned for four years as the most sucktastic day of my...
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Everybody back home's watchin' the Outdoor channel
It seems there is a new show called The Best Defense. I calculate 11 calls from friends and family thus far.
They don’t even know about the gunshots that everyone in the neighborhood has heard for the past four nights. Five of the calls are promoting exercises with my gun that take the injury into account.
Thus far, the legalities of being rear-ended in a deserted area, using an alias to...
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ooo salon time!
Hair appointment this afternoon. This is your shot at making suggestions or suffer the same damn GPOYs for the foreseeable future.
*winning smile*
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.::HUGS::.
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Truthful Tuesday
I had kind of held the belief that the Internet was a wonderful meeting ground for serial killers. What I have found is quite the contrary.
My IRL BFF made a post today in defense of something she believes I deserve, which is a wish for a person that I’ll never meet to be nicer. This display of devotion was completely unexpected and sincerely appreciated.
That’s the kind of friend...
MGMT has located my lunch
As always, my last name was bellowed to page me. The pizza had actually been anonymously returned.
This is even more disturbing than just commitment to consumption. Someone may have squirrelled it away and got cold feet when it was rumored that I went on the war path, or they laced it with rat poison.
What a Sicko.
Some jerkoff ate my lunch.
There are a number of ways to aggravate me, but commandeering my food is the quickest way to do it.
Did you have amnesia this morning?
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Poker night with Indiana boys
To be a Kentucky native is to harbor rivalries in the SEC, as well as across the river. Which river? I say any river, but mostly I’m talking about the Ohio. Residents of Indiana and Ohio typically look askance at those on the southern side and have a multitude of insults at the ready.
The host is from Indiana, and he had invited two of his six brothers and a good friend from across the way....
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Phone call from Poker Night Boy
GP: Hey, what are you doing?
Me: I just got up and I'm inhaling a pizza.
GP: [pause] Beer's on the house for you. That's how you fucking do an off day.
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Story of wee niece just made my life.
At Grandma’s (my mom’s), she spent the weekend with her brothers. She is two and a half. Pointing at pictures on the wall, she first pointed to my older brother. “That’s my daddy!” Grandma affirmed.
Pointing at pictures of me, she said “That’s my mama!” Grandma intervened. “No, precious, that’s your Aunt.”
With hands on her hips,...
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The future set list
Thanks to all who voiced support for the harmonica endeavor! Your votes of confidence are cherished and have incited incessant giggling, because I’m quite terrible on Day One of Harmonica Domination.
dangerdtm said: Piano Man, Love Me Do, When the Levee Breaks… Harmonica gold.
...
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jonmichaelusa replied to your post: This just in: tomorrow is a holiday
Feel free to text me what cards you have, what the pot is, what the community cards are, etc..stuff like that and I’ll gladly give you my sage poker advice.
Much appreciated. I can play Hold Em but this is a five-card situation and I don’t even know what you just said. One of the boys is in a weekly back room game the...
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This just in: tomorrow is a holiday
I am not supposed to go to work.
I had no idea. What holiday is it?
Impromptu poker tournament arranged for tomorrow: check.
Knowledge of poker: nil.
Strategy: giggle uncomfortably at everything and use phrases like “Welp, hmm” and “now what”.
I’m coming back home with a pile of cash that I will proceed to apply to my book habit.
Reckon I’ll drink tonight...
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Hit the ground runnin'
I wondered aloud, on the ride back from Louisville, what albums Eddie Van Halen might play in his hotel room after such a concert. My brother had looked into this already, having asked the same question, and told me Eddie particularly loves Allan Holdsworth. The man is a classical guitarist who sounds nothing like him but whose technique has blessed the world of rock in immeasurable ways, most...
i always wondered which guy in kool and the gang...
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Runnin' with the Devil
Today is the day I attend a concert with my brother, and with his wife, who elbowed her way in after learning that we were going.
Her jealousy, meanness, and hate cannot be contained. Here’s a tip: I know we all live in Kentucky, but the one lady who won’t steal your man is his sister.
Sometimes you feel the essence of a person at first meeting; good, strong, intelligent,...
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The fandom speaks
southrnbird said: No no… youve always been fantastic!
No YOU are fantastic!! Thanks for having my back. :)
isemancometh said: I’m sorry I am gonna have to agree with...
livinlifedaily asked: Who was or still is your favorite band and why?
mandible-lector asked: Tattoos. Do you have any?
whatiseenashville asked: I apologize, I know your from Kentucky but I have no idea what part... Is Mammoth Cave worth a visit or is it a tourist trap?
alwayshiscalifornia asked: Have you always been so fantastic?
monkeymailtime asked: If you could go back five years and change one thing, what would it be?
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alldagoodnamesrgone replied to your photo
Thank heavens that wasn’t Ale8. That stuff is nasty. Nasty, I tell you.
Enough of that sass! Actually I had to think real hard about that choice. I love Ale-8 but I have to see my sister in law tomorrow and Lord knows I need a beer tonight. ;)
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"Do you have a minute to talk to me?"
I sure do, kid. Afternoon plans are cancelled when the wee nephew gets a (rare) chance to call.
I was regaled with “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells.” We can thank his friend Braxton for that. We carry Christmas in our hearts in my family.
Thanks to a two-hour delay this morning, he got to go to McDonald’s. He got to go home from school in my Corvette today.
The weather may fare...
Surely we'll find it..
I dreamt that I met one of you as you were passing through on the way to starting a new career. Even with the excitement of a huge promotion and the chance to pursue your dreams on the side, you called to sit a spell over a cup of coffee and visit. Rather than feel awkward, we embraced as kindred souls who had finally reunited. I can’t recall what was discussed, but I distinctly remember...
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incredible bullshitter
So full of shit even I am shocked.
On top of the insurmountable workload, the expectations include volunteering for extra assignments. We can get overtime for certain things but not others.
My work bff quit, and I am the only nonmanagement person privy to this information. In order to keep the boys from continuing to undercut my progress, I just volunteered to take on all l her work with no...
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Officially allergic to work.
I have suspected this for some time.
It is highly unfortunate that the only way to beat the headaches is to spend more time at the place that is causing them. Also highly unfortunate: rum in coffee is frowned upon.
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